The Day After

Of all the things to think about, I've been thinking about this: I'm jealous that I won't have a cool, hippy slogan and mascot that defines me as a cancer survivor. Seriously. Breast cancer victims/survivors get pink ribbons, pretty bras and slogans like "Fight Like a Girl." Since I'm new to the colon cancer scene, I may be mistaken, but I know of no such slogans for me. I can think of plenty, but most are probably not 'clean' language. ;-)Do I even get a special remembrance ribbon? And if I do, will it be brown?? Such things to think about, but it does give you an idea of how my brain works.

On a more serious note, a few days ago, I read a blessing by St. Theresa:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received,

and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones,

and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Such a beautiful blessing and so very relevant to me right now. I think the part that stands out the most to me is the prayer for me to trust God that I am where I am supposed to be right now. Such a prayer! If I am where I am supposed to be, then I am experiencing the life I am supposed to experience. I think there is so much good to be experienced, even when you are walking through a scary time. I sometimes need to remind myself to keep my eyes open.

Talking with Jeff, a new friend of mine, yesterday was so encouraging. He, of course, was sad about my news...but as we talked his eyes just shown. He said, "Think of all you get to learn!" Yes. Think of that! I may actually learn more than I have ever wanted to; I appreciate his wisdom.

All of that sounds great, and while I do want to experience the life that brings me closer to God, I've got to admit that I have all kinds of apprehension about what these lessons will entail. I love being in control, I love being independent and I love being strong. I think that some of the lessons I will learn may involve one or all three of these things that I hold dear. That's scary to me. Well, that and physical pain. ;-)